The depressing state of depression

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

It happened. The one thing I never wanted to ever happen in my life. My nightmare came true.

I missed the bus!

I know what you are thinking, "Big deal!Pffffttt...."

But I would like you all to know, I didn't miss 'any' bus. I missed my son's school bus. Which means I am stuck with two kids and I would most likely lose my voice and my mind by the end of the day.

As I walked back home with my son, I could see those judging eyes of other moms happily boarding their children into the bus with a smug smile on their face. So, this is what the morning walk of shame feels like. I hung my head low and power walked the rest of the way. And guess what my husband tells me?!

"He is just in Kindergarten. So what if he misses a day?"

Oh no, you didn't!

I don't care if he is just in preschool or doing his SATs, O.W.Ls or N.E.W.Ts ( Harry Potter reference intended), mama needs her 'me' time. That is when I can sit back and eat whatever I want (from the leftovers of previous night) , watch every comedy talk show and laugh till my little one wakes up, that's when I cry. The very thought of losing that time was already pushing me to the brink of turning into a MOMZILLA.

As much as I wanted to 'HULK SMASH' everything around him to prove my point, I decided to calm down because this wasn't new to me. Indians don't react to grief very well.  We have one solution to every sorrow or grief in life, especially for our teenagers.

Either they have to move on immediately or get drunk and move on immediately. Those are the only two options available for us and for people who don't drink there isn't much of a choice. 

And God save us if we ever fall into depression, nothing can get worse than being born into a tight-knit Indian family and go through depression. Oh and it gets worse once your symptoms of depression is recognized.

At first they will be all mellow and ask what was the reason for our long faces. Once we spill it all, they will say, "Thooo...This and all is one reason ah? I was scared it was something more terrible. Go, go. Go and sleep, everything will be over when you wake up."

Aaaaaah, the miraculous advice. Everything will magically vanish by morning. But guess what, it works. Sometimes, we do have the habit of exaggerating our problems and we start faking depression symptoms to get some sympathy.

But if that doesn't work and you are still sulking, that is when it gets real.

If you skip two to three meals in a row, your parents will be at your doorstep saying this, "If you don't come and eat, no more studies for you. I will get you two cows and some goats, herd boy." When you do come down, they will stare you the whole time and ask you completely unnecessary questions and when you have no answers for it, they get extremely irritated and yell, "you're not even worth being a herder". Oh man! There goes my dream job!

Or if you are single and you show extreme symptoms of depression they will have only one solution for you. Get you married immediately.

But if you are already married and you show extreme symptoms of depression they will call up your spouse, yell at them, then call your in-laws, yell at them, finally they will call you up and yell at you for getting them worried about nothing.

In olden days, we used to have an unspoken law, that depressions are only for grown men. And women who showed any signs of depression will either be divorced, shunned and sent to hospitals for mental disorders or forced to overcome it by the society.

Thank God, now we have moved on from that and have come to an era where some families just force both men and women to break their state of depression and save the world overnight.

I think they have confused depressed people with those who are on hunger strike. It is not like you can lure them with burgers and they will change their minds. Their ignorance is the reason why some parents don't care much about forcing their children into marriages, threatening them to give up their love affairs, pressuring them into giving up their passions and guilt them into forming a career they have no interest in.

Some parents don't understand how deep the roots of grief can push through our hearts.

They underestimate the intensity of pain one endures and when their children get diagnosed with clinical depression, their first question is, "Depression? I gave him food, education, shelter and an A/C for his room. And sir is depressed for what?" and they throw a deathly stare at us indicating the beginning of "How to torture the depression out of someone in 10 days".

These type of parents are not limited to India, I have read many articles about such cases among foreigners too. As long as there are people who deny the possibilities of their actions on the future generations, you will have many troubled teenagers growing up into short-tempered and self harming adults.

If every sigh from kids are answered with a judgemental remark or a flying slipper, one day, they will stop sharing their pain. Years of accumulated heartbreak can make a monster out of anyone and once you have set the Frankenstein free, there is no point in running away...

All comments are welcome

And the crowd goes wild

“Push! Push! Samantha, he is almost there.” said zack.

“AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! I am dying!” screamed Samantha.

“Push! It will be over in a minute Samantha.” said the doctor, her voice filled with confidence and experience.

The nurses chanted the same words. Zack felt like he was in a football stadium and the crowd was chanting their heroes’ name as the player ran to get that last penalty shot. Everyone in the room was sweating, praying, weeping and screaming. And his wife, Samantha, was doing all of this at a regular interval. 

Ignoring his conscience, he opened his mouth to say his final words.

“I understand your pain, Samantha, believe me, it will be over soon!”

There was a loud gasp! And everything came to a standstill.

The doctor held her chest, the nurses dropped everything they were holding, the crowd booed, the clock stopped ticking and he could swear his unborn baby just said, “Father, what have you done!”

  

“What was wrong with that?” would be the first question that popped up in your mind. But to an extremely feminist brain that sentence would bring a different question.

Let me ‘Rap’ it up for you.

“Excuse me! YOU understand WHAT??

My pain is not a lesson to be taught

Don’t you dare compare with the wars we have fought!

Na aaah, No uterus no opinions, hot shot."

Yeah! Feminism! You men are not better than us! Women rock!

But do we really? Is that what our fight is about? Who rocks? The word ‘Girl power’ is making me cringe as though someone asked me “do you want a zucchini cookie? It is so healthy!” NO! NO! The answer is always no. Get that vile stuff away from me, woman!

For centuries we have seen this argument on every TV channel, especially on the ones which have no idea how to get viewers to tune in. So they just bring every controversial topic and debate it out till they dehydrate themselves yelling passionately about things they absolutely don’t care in real life.

And the most debated topic is “who is better? Men or women” and the result is always that women are better than men. Not because they believe in that, it is usually because they don’t like to go home to a poisoned cake.

Being a woman (yes, I have my birth certificate to prove that), I totally understand our inclination towards feminism. For years women are mistreated, underestimated and not given proper recognition by the world. And we have fought a long, hard battle to be where we are right now.

Men used to believe that they don’t need women. Haven’t we already proved them wrong? We can produce Homo sapiens, like nobody’s business. Without us, men will be stuck talking ‘to’ footballs ‘about’ footballs.

But somehow, that doesn’t seem to quench the thirst for some women. They take it to the next level and start battling for the title of “better species”. And they treat men as though they were born to serve them. Here is the catch, ladies; there is only one winner in that field. And that would be the one who appreciates and accepts the value of the other. The real winner is the one who understand that we need each other to make one unshakeable team.

There are men out there who have always supported feminism, but sadly they are given as little attention as a toddler’s “stomach pain” when lunch is served.

We keep talking about what women want, what women should have, how women should be treated, but on those lines we forget we are turning ourselves into female chauvinists. We get hungry for more attention and more freedom that we fail to see the mess we create. 

We are ready to accept that men can’t do everything that women can do, but we strive so hard to prove that women can do everything that men can do. We jump up the minute they say something wrong, and drain their blood out of their body. We fail to register the fact that as long as one is afraid of the other there is no equality there.

Feminism shouldn’t be about who is better. It is should be about being equal, equally loved, equally cared, equally qualified, equally respected and equally responsible. So, the next time we widen our eyes and flare up our nostrils to charge at a man who is waving a white flag as high as possible. Let us ask ourselves, is this feminism or chauvinism.

But, if the man is just a moron who thinks women belong in kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. Then you better kick him in the crotch and blame it on PMS. Period.

                                  

All comments are welcome.